Monday, June 11, 2012

[Read] The 9 Weirdest Music Listings On Craigslist

Craigslist is a wonderful place filled with false identities, prostitution, and scalped tickets. Often overlooked, the music community on Craigslist is abundant in opportunities for starving artists, groupie hopefuls, and penniless fans. It doesn't take very long to discover the desperate and the quirky, hence this hurried feature, "The 9 Weirdest Music Listings On Craigslist." They're listings from across the country and have managed to beat out all others due to their higher levels of absurdity. Hit the jump below in order to find out where the creepiest and dumbest in the music industry live. Who knows, maybe you'll be the lucky buyer of a limited edition crucifix dobro guitar after reading this one... 

9. Wanted: Gay or Lesbian - Auburn, Alabama
If you're gay or lesbian, hit this woman up (but only if you're serious about being gay or lesbian).

8. All-Female Metal Heads - Panama City, Florida
Any woman who is inspired by a band called Cycle Sluts from Hell is going to make a list like this one. Helga (my guess) is a large woman looking to "create a phenominal music beast." If you're a female in Panama City and have big arms and sleeveless shirts, hit a girl up.

7. My Crappy Music - Houston, Texas
A bad sales pitch filled with unrelated and weird pictures of the human body and Rambo.

6. Israeli Folk Dancing Muai, Hawaii
I could have put this closer to the top spot, but started wondering if Israeli Folk is a common thing in Hawaii. Apparently it is. I still think it's weird though, so it sits oddly at number 6.

5. Country Punk - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Hands down the worst idea ever. Don't believe me? They have YouTube videos. It's also just a poorly written listing, so for all you grammar snobs, feel free to chuckle at the guys who base their band practices around "fishing trips and meat eating contests."

4. Crucifix Dobro - San Francisco, California
By trading your motorcycle or tube amp, you could be a new, proud owner of the very same guitar Funky Jesus ripped on. It's "the perfect addition to your next evangelical gathering, church choir practice, death metal show, or any religious/sacrilegious event."

3. Audition Diplomat - Nashville, Tennessee
Not only has this person made up a job, they have given it an incredibly over-the-top title. It's pointless, it's weird, and it's a clever way to eat for free off the complimentary cheese plate in the green room. Jonni's got that ambition

2. Free Cello?Los Angeles, California
I really want to meet the author of this one, and better yet, would love for them to write for Beat Dropping. So, to the man/woman (for all it's worth, I picture a middle-aged woman named Melissa) who wants to give their 3/4 of a cello away for free, email me and we'll talk business; I see a lot of potential.

1. Did We Hook up at That Concert? - Chicago, Illinois
I don't know if this is a serious listing or not, but I couldn't help putting it at the top spot for the weirdest, music-related listing. If it is fake, and just for shits and giggles, props to the creator. Of course all of us are praying this is 100% real - a hope that is centered around the wonderful uncertainty of drunken sluts and red mohawks. 

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